Cindy Aubrey

Liam and Dad - Zedo's Birthday

Five years ago today, I said goodbye to my Dad.   A long battle with cancer – a horrible disease that changed everything about him – was finally over.   As I stood beside the bed we had made for him in my parents living room – I held his hand as he took his last breath.  My heart hurt.   I looked around the room that was crowded with my big family – siblings, nieces and nephews.   Everyone asleep – some draped over armchairs,  some curled up on the floor – I was glad to be awake.

I wept as I stood over him reading from Psalms. I wanted so much for him to be able to hear what I was saying.   A few minutes earlier I knew that he didn’t have much longer. I felt anxious – I wanted him to hear a scripture that would comfort him – make him less afraid of dying – praying that in these last moments,  Dad was connecting with God.

I will never forget June 9, 2005.  I will also never forget what a great man my dad was – in so many ways.   He was so right about everything – from politicians to preachers – how did he know?

The world needs more guys like my dad.   The real deal – generous, hardworking, honest, strong, kind, smart – and  a guy who could smell bullshit a mile away.  The latter is what I loved most about him.

He taught me how to be tough and to face my fears.   He gave me confidence and made me believe in myself.  He warned me about people who would hurt me – and instilled in me the importance of respecting people – no matter who they were and what they did.   He taught me about forgiveness and love. He bought me my first jigsaw, my first car and gave me the down payment on my first house.  He never liked any of my dates – but treated the man I married like his own son.

In the summer of 2002,   I had to go to Seattle on a business trip and my husband Peter came along.   It was early June and we had not been in our little downtown home for very long.   My dad was keeping an eye on the place while we were away.  When we returned,   my dad had left us the most amazing,  wonderful surprise.   He had started a garden in my backyard and even built a fence around it.   No one else had ever done anything that cool for me before.

I miss him.   I finally realize just how good and remarkable he was.  I also know I want to be more like him – more than anyone else I know.  I love you Dad.